


Just Plain Weird

by DoomedTemperament



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Crack, Humor, M/M, Rare Pairings, Texting, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7687780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedTemperament/pseuds/DoomedTemperament
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody, not on Seirin nor Shuutoku, could have predicted the two most unlikely power couples to form- the shadows and the lights.</p><p>Also known as: "This started off as a joke and got way out of hand."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Brief Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> So. Uh. Crack ships, amirite?
> 
> I swear, I didn't intend for any of this to happen, but everything spiraled out of control (as it usually does when I begin to ship.)
> 
> It's not my proudest work, but I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless.

It wasn’t expected. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t normal.

It was _just plain weird._

Nobody, not on Seirin nor Shuutoku, could have predicted the two most unlikely power couples to form- the shadows and the lights.

The story seemed unbelievable, and at first, both teams and teammates thought it was a joke. It wasn’t.

As for how it happened…


	2. Takao and Kuroko, or: It started with gossip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Say, Kuroko, you know how they say that when you kiss someone and it’s meant to be, you feel sparks?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to 666random4life for introducing me to this ship. (How could this happen to me?)

“I will correct your simplistic thinking.”

Midorima had said that to Kagami during their winter cup training camp, shortly before trouncing him in a one-on-one, knowing full well that Kuroko and Takao were eavesdropping. What he wasn’t aware of was the fact that beforehand, the two had been gossiping.

“You know Kuroko, I don’t think I’ve seen Shin-chan get so enthusiastic about beating an opponent before. Then again, I don’t think I’ve seen him get enthusiastic about… well, anything.”

“Midorima-kun is more serious about winning than I’ve seen in a while. Perhaps defeat has re-awoken his passion.”

“Yeah, either that or Kagami has.”

Takao meant it mostly in jest, but to his surprise, Kuroko hummed thoughtfully.

“You have a fair point. Midorima-kun usually wouldn’t bother to... _assist_ someone in this way. Not even myself. Perhaps Kagami-kun made an impact when he wrote his name on Midorima-kun’s hand.”

Takao looked at Kuroko in bemusement, before barely restraining a cackle.

“Oh wow Kuroko, I didn’t think you would take me seriously when I said that.”

“But think about it.”

Takao watched the two as they conversed, and narrowed his eyes.

“I guess I could kinda see what you mean. Still, Kagami and Shin-chan? It would never work out. The two are polar opposites. Kagami is loud and rough around the edges, while Shin-chan is almost prudish.”

“Don’t forget the saying, opposites attract.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it would make sense if they’re that opposite. Don’t people usually like other people who are similar to themselves?”

“I suppose that makes sense, though I’ve never seen or experienced that.”

Takao rolled his eyes and watched as Midorima challenged Kagami.

“You’re being ridiculous. It was a joke, anyway.”

“You know I don’t joke.”

Takao looked at Kuroko strangely, and patted him on the head.

“That’s so cute of you to say. Now let’s be quiet, I think they’re about to showdown.”

Kuroko complied.

But it wasn’t just watching the exchange between Midorima and Kagami that had him silent- it was the fact that nobody, aside from Kise, had called him cute.

And later on that night, as he remembered how Takao had always been able to see him in more than one way, he couldn’t help but dwell on the fact.

\---

It took Shuutoku’s loss at the hands of Rakuzan (and Seirin’s victory) at the winter cup to really let the thought come back to life.

Kuroko knew Kagami had felt somewhat upset at the prospect of not being able to compete against Shuutoku in the final game- Kuroko had too. It was supposed to be payback, of a sort. Still, whatever feelings may have been there were pushed back during the actual match against Rakuzan, and it was only a few days after their victory, when things were going back to normal (well, as normal as anything could be on the Seirin basketball team) that the opportunity to talk about it arose.

“It’s fortunate for us that none of the upperclassmen are leaving this year, isn’t it?” Kagami stated one day, walking home after classes had ended.

“You mean aside from Kiyoshi-senpai.”

“Yeah, that. I mean, some of the teams are gonna lose their best players- Touou’s losing that Imayoshi creep, Kaijou’s losing Kasamatsu, Shuutoku’s losing Ootsubo-”

“Are you afraid that there won’t be any more challenges?” Kuroko said, raising an eyebrow. His comment made Kagami look thoughtful for a moment.

“Nah, I mean, you’ve still got your old teammates, so it’s always gonna be a challenge. Just… different. I still gotta train more, just so I can keep up,” Kagami said, and paused for a moment. “Do you think I’ll still be doing laps during the next camp?”

Kuroko laughed quietly- of course that’s what Kagami would worry about. But then, the strange conversation with Takao rose to his memory.

“Kagami-kun, what do you think of Midorima-kun?”

Kagami stopped, looking at Kuroko in confusion.

“He’s… a weirdo? A good player? Kinda stubborn? I don’t know, why are you asking me?”

“You wouldn’t suppose that he and Takao-kun are dating, would you?”

Kagami laughed. “Okay, now that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard you say. Come on, what’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing, Kagami-kun.”

Later that night, Kuroko texted Midorima, asking for Takao's number. Midorima, surprisingly, agreed.

\---

Kuroko couldn’t help but glance at his bookbag during class. Seirin had a strict no-cellphones-in-class policy, but the temptation to check was more present than it had ever been before, and it was all because of Takao.

Surprisingly enough, talking to Takao was a welcome experience. Kuroko hadn’t anticipated that Takao would even want to talk to him- the memory of their first game against each other, where Takao had said he disliked Kuroko because they were similar- rang through his mind. And yet, Takao was still willing to speak to him, even being friendly. It was… nice.

He waited almost-impatiently for the bell to signal the lunch hour; Probably due to the fact that his rivalry with Takao had dwindled during the time between the winter cup and just then, he felt himself wanting to talk more. It was a strange feeling, but not unwelcome.

_This math lecture has been dragging on,_ he thought idly.

Finally, after agonizing minutes, the bell rang, and Kuroko didn’t hesitate to get his phone from his bag. One new text.

“All of the bread in the cafeteria is going to be one by the time you finish scrolling through those texts, you know.”

Kuroko glanced up at Kagami, and shook his head with a smile. “You go on without me, Kagami-kun. I’m not all that hungry.”

Kagami shot Kuroko a skeptical look, but continued on.

\---

- _so i still dont get why youre texting me._  
(11:38)

-I wanted to talk to you. Is it so hard to believe?  
(11:40)

- _a little bit lol. does this have something to do with what we talked about during the training camp or what?_  
(11:41)

-Partially.  
(11:43)

- _i dont know what youre thinking but it was a joke. i didnt actually believe shin-chan and kagami would be interested in each other._  
(11:43)

-That’s not the point that I was trying to make.  
(11:44)

- _youre just being confusing now. always so serious even over text. its kinda adorable._  
(11:45)

-Please don’t say things you don’t mean.  
(11:47)

- _okay? im getting lunch now but we can talk later if youre done being cryptic._  
(11:48)

-No promises.  
(11:50)

\---

Kuroko’s birthday party was truly one of the happiest moments of his life- he had managed to group together his teammates from Seirin, as well as his former Teikou teammates, and all was well.

Oddly enough, Himuro and Takao had tagged along to join in the festivities, which was unexpected, but not unpleasant.

As the evening ran on, after food had been eaten (mostly by Kagami and Aomine; Kuroko honestly didn’t know if two could have avoided an eating contest if their lives depended on it) and presents had been given, the excitement settled down and everyone began chatting amongst themselves. Kuroko glanced at Takao and Midorima, who were seated on the couch and chatting happily (or rather, Takao was chatting happily, while Midorima tried to look as casual as he could,) and then to Kagami, who was trying to keep up with Kise as he recounted some story or another.

Who was he to avoid helping Kagami?

Stepping behind Kise and tapping his shoulder lightly (much to both Kise and Kagami’s surprise, which was always entertaining,) he asked, “Excuse me, Kise-kun, but I need to borrow Kagami-kun for a moment.”

Kise pouted, but Kagami was more than thankful to be pulled away.

“So, what do you need?” Kagami asked when they were finally out of earshot.

“I assumed you wanted to be rescued. Perhaps it would be best to find someone who doesn’t talk incessantly.”

Kagami raised an eyebrow, and glanced over at Midorima and Takao.

“Do you want me to pull Midorima away?”

Kuroko looked at Kagami in confusion.

“Why would I want you to do that?”

Kagami shrugged, and glanced away.

“Well, I mean, you’ve been texting Takao a lot lately, and every time you do it’s like you’ve got this weird half-smile on your face. I figured you would want the opportunity to get some alone time with him now that you have the chance outside of a basketball game.”

“Are you implying that I have feelings for Takao-kun?”

Kagami huffed. “I’m not implying anything- I’m outright saying it.”

Kuroko shook his head, about to tell Kagami that he was being ridiculous, but then thought better of it.

Thinking back on it, he had, more or less, used Midorima and Kagami as a tool to talk to Takao more often. It had only stemmed from the incident at the training camp when Takao had called Kuroko cute. And with every text sent, it felt like a genuine friendship was growing. Kuroko might have thought once or twice that it was some sort of attraction, but his mind kept telling him to brush it off. Was it really that apparent to someone even as oblivious as Kagami?

“Look, I’ll admit, it’s a little weird for me to think about, but if you want an excuse to talk to him, I’ll cover for you.”

Kuroko hesitated for a moment, seeing the honesty in Kagami’s expression.

“That would be nice.”

Before Kuroko could ask Kagami how he was planning to get Midorima away, Kagami walked over and made gestured to Midorima.

“Oi, glasses, we need to talk.”

Midorima looked incredibly apprehensive at the prospect, and yet Kagami waited for him to follow suit. Kuroko watched the silent exchange with mild interest, and as Midorima and Kagami headed to the balcony to talk about god-knows-what, he took the opportunity to sit next to Takao.

Takao glanced at the two, and then to Kuroko.

“What’s going on with them?”

“In all honesty, I’m not sure.”

“You know Kuroko, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve been trying to get them together.”

“I can assure you that wasn’t my intention at all.”

“Then what was?” Takao asked, taking a sip from his drink.

“I was intending to get closer to you.”

It took Kuroko a moment to register that he had actually said that out loud, mainly due to the fact that Takao had just spat out whatever he was drinking (soda, he thought) right back into his cup.

_“Excuse me?!”_

Kuroko glanced away.

An awkward silence lasted between the two, and Takao cleared his throat.

“So, uh. How long have you…”

“Since the training camp, I believe.”

“...Right.”

More silence.

“You know, at one point Shin-chan said that we were acting awfully friendly towards each other, and that I should be careful in case you tried to kill me. Well, he didn’t say that directly, but you know how I can read him.”

“I’m more than aware of that, yes.”

Takao looked at Kuroko for a good few seconds, and sighed.

“Look, Kuroko, I-”

“I’m not expecting you to return these… feelings. I haven’t had much time to think about them myself. But I would prefer to be let down easily, if at all possible.”

Takao raised an eyebrow. “So you’d be fine with me rejecting you? Just saying it would never work out?”

“I wouldn’t be fine with it, but I would understand.”

Takao hummed quietly, deep in thought.

“Say, Kuroko, you know how they say that when you kiss someone and it’s meant to be, you feel sparks?”

Kuroko nodded. “Personally, I’ve never believed that. But I wouldn’t know from experience, as I’ve mentioned before.”

“Do you want to try it?”

Kuroko’s eyes widened.

“You-”

“Eh, I’ve never really paid much attention to who I’m interested in. Girls are great, but I haven’t given them much thought since the basketball season started. Though now that it’s over, I have time to focus on that sort of thing.” Takao pointedly looked at Kuroko then, and Kuroko frowned.

“It’s not funny to tease like that.”

“Who said I was teasing?”

Kuroko was, at that moment, very glad that the focus was off of him- maybe using misdirection at his own birthday party would pay off.

“So then…” Kuroko started, and trailed off. Takao just looked at him, as if daring him to make the first move.

So he did.

It was a quick peck, hardly even a kiss, but it was enough to make Kuroko’s normally stoic face turn a subtle shade of red. Takao blinked at him, remaining quiet for several moments, almost but not quite stunned, before smiling and shrugging.

“Not bad.”

Takao looked as though he wanted to say more. Fortunately, there wasn’t much time for Kuroko to dwell on what exactly he just did, as Midorima and Kagami came back inside, both looking incredibly uncomfortable.

All in all, it was a pretty great birthday.

\---

- _so shin-chan is talking a lot about kagami. you mightve been onto something there._  
(12:08)

-Interesting. I’ll ask Kagami-kun about it later.  
(12:09)

- _you dont have any plans on sunday do you?_  
(12:09)

-Not yet. Why do you ask?  
(12:11)

- _do you want to go out somewhere? i feel a little bad about just kissing you and leaving it there._  
(12:11)

-I’d love to.  
(12:14)

\---

The months that passed were surprisingly normal. Aside from a date with Takao every so often (their first had been at the aquarium, and Kuroko was just a little bit nervous to openly admit that it was one of the nicest outings he’d been on,) life resumed as it always did.

Mostly.

“So, you and Takao are going pretty steady, huh?” Kagami asked after their first official day of practice as second-years.

“Yes, we are.”

“I’m happy for you.”

Kuroko looked at Kagami quizzically, unsure of why Kagami had decided to pursue that particular topic of conversation. Kagami was pointedly avoiding Kuroko’s inquisitive gaze.

“Is there someone you’re interested in, Kagami-kun?”

“Of course not!”

“Your ears are red. They always turn red when you’re lying.”

Kagami was sorely tempted to ruffle Kuroko’s hair in annoyance, but the expression on Kuroko’s face told him it was a bad idea.

“Okay, so maybe there is. What about it? It’s not like it’s relevant to you.”

“Actually, considering Midorima-kun is a… friend of mine, I’d say it’s very relevant to me.”

Kagami sputtered indignantly. “How did you know?!”

Kuroko smiled. “I didn’t, but you just confirmed it.”

“You little-”

“I could give his number to you, if you like.”

Kagami shook his head. “Nah, you don’t need to do that.”

Ignoring his curiosity (for the time being,) Kuroko hummed as they continued to walk. Shortly after, he received a text message.

- _shuutoku vs seirin practice game next week on wednesday. loser has to pay for the winner’s dinner!_  
(5:07)

Kuroko put his phone away, feeling more confident than ever.


	3. Kagami and Midorima, or: Fate is bad for flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kagami laughed loudly, and clapped a hand on Midorima’s shoulder before he could stop himself. “Man, you really are a tsundere.”

Midorima would have liked to say that it was all some sort of cosmic joke, that the stars were misaligned on the day that he first communicated with one Kagami Taiga, and that fate had decided he didn’t have enough hardships in his life. Certainly, writing his name and jersey number on Midorima’s hand had made a lasting impression (as was intended, though Midorima didn’t want to admit to its effectiveness,) but it mainly solidified his belief in the fact that, in his life, Kagami would cause nothing but trouble.

He was (mostly) right.

Kagami’s first offense had been helping Kuroko win against him at the inter-high. His second offense had been failing to beat Midorima in a one-on-one during the training camp (and it was a miracle that he had even learned anything from the incident.) And his third offense had been besting Akashi in the winter cup where Midorima and his teammates could not.

To top it all off, Midorima would have to deal with him (and, by extension, many others) at Kuroko’s birthday party.

He had initially planned to stick to Takao- it was a small blessing that his teammate had also been there, and he wasn’t aiming to be too terribly social after expending most of his energy on the set of basketball games. In the beginning, it worked.

But later, as the small crowd dispersed into smaller groups, Midorima found it harder to do so.

Mainly because Kuroko kept making goo-goo eyes at Takao, and that was a thought he really didn’t want to linger on.

“Shin-chan, are you okay? You look stiffer than usual.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

Takao followed Midorima’s gaze, to where Kuroko was pulling Kagami away from a blabbering Kise.

“You’re not watching Kagami, are you? Geez, and here I thought Kuroko was wrong…”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oi, glasses,” Kagami spoke as he and Kuroko approached the duo, “We need to talk.”

Midorima tried his best to not look completely put off, but Kagami must have seen his hesitance, because he stood in place, patiently waiting.

_This can’t be good._

Finally, after taking a few moments to weigh the pros and cons of leaving, Midorima decided it wasn’t worth it to put up a fight, and went along with Kagami to the balcony.

“You could have called me by my name, you know.”

“Ah, sorry. I had to keep up my gruff front, you know?”

Midorima furrowed his brows. “No, I don’t know.”

“Look,” Kagami said, gesturing to Kuroko and Takao, who were sitting awkwardly on the couch, “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice yet.”

“Are you referring to Kuroko’s feelings towards Takao?” Midorima scoffed. “As if I could miss them. His texting habits make him completely transparent.”

“So why don’t you give them the opportunity to talk it out?”

“Is that why you pulled me out here?”

Kagami grinned. “Pretty much, yeah.”

Midorima took a moment to observe Kagami. “You’re… a good friend to him.”

“Are you actually complimenting me for once?”

“Of course not!”

Kagami laughed loudly, and clapped a hand on Midorima’s shoulder before he could stop himself. “Man, you really are a tsundere.”

Midorima shifted his weight uneasily, and Kagami picked up on it pretty quickly.

“Come on, are you really not okay with the idea of Kuroko and Takao being together?”

“It’s not that I’m not okay with it, I just don’t understand what they see in each other.”

Kagami shrugged. “Eh, it’s a relationship thing. It can’t be explained until you experience it for yourself.”

Midorima looked at Kagami in disbelief. “Are you telling me _you’ve_ been in a relationship with someone?”

“Well… no. But that’s just what my mentor always told me!” Kagami sputtered, tugging on his shirt collar in embarrassment.

A quick glance at the inside told Midorima that Kuroko and Takao were apparently done with whatever conversation they were having. He nearly sighed with relief when Kagami decided to step back inside, though he still felt incredibly uncomfortable.

The rest of the night passed without too much extra fanfare, and Midorima was more than happy to finally be carted back home by Takao.

“I assume you and Kuroko have worked things out?”

Takao hummed as he pedaled. “In a way, yes. I might ask him out on a date later.”

“Of course. Kagami must be awfully proud of himself.”

“What does Kagami have to do with this?”

Midorima groaned and readjusted his glasses. “He was responsible for dragging me out to the balcony. He was most likely the one who suggested that Kuroko should talk to you. I’m surprised he had it in him.”

“Did you just compliment Kagami?” Takao asked in mild disbelief.

“Of course not,” Midorima huffed.

Takao had to stifle a laugh, and Midorima knew he was being somewhat undignified- honestly, he just needed to get a good night of rest.

“You know,” Takao continued, in the apparent decision to keep Midorima awake, “Kuroko and I were actually talking about you two a long while ago. He seems to think you’d make a good match with Kagami.”

“Don’t be preposterous. We have no compatibility- he’s brash and hot-headed, even if he does show the occasional act of decency. And it’s not as though he’d like me, if I were to hypothetically like him. I’m sure he has plenty of prospects who are much more feminine, and much less on an enemy team.”

“Enemy team?” Takao laughed lightly, “That makes it sound like it’s some sort of battle. But whatever, I’ll drop the conversation, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” Midorima tried to say in an excruciatingly polite manner.

“If you say so.”

\---

Curse Takao for planting the idiotic idea into his head.

Midorima was relatively secure in his sexuality (or lack thereof, as others would like to joke) and knew that attraction would come to him with whomever fate decided.

But not even fate was fair for giving him unwanted thoughts about Kagami, of all people.

It started off slowly enough; Midorima’s mind wandered back to the incident at Kuroko’s birthday party, and that was easy to brush off at first. But as time passed and practice for the first and second years had slowed, he found himself remembering Kagami’s tenacity, his dedication, and suddenly the urge to compete had turned into something like reluctant admiration.

That was a problem in itself.

Soon enough, their second year of high school approached, and while knowing that the upperclassmen of Shuutoku wouldn’t be around was a bittersweet thought, Midorima was interested in seeing the newcomers to the basketball team.

“Shin-chan, look at this text Kuroko sent me,” Takao had said in the locker room after the first day of recruitment.

Midorima glanced at Takao’s phone, and saw the picture attached to it.

Kagami was seated on the gym floor, looking half-scared out of his wits as he patted the team mascot (Nigou, if he was remembering correctly,) with the caption: _He’s trying to conquer his fear of dogs. It’s not working very well._

The extremely unwarranted first thought to pop into his head was that it was strangely endearing.

The entirely warranted second thought was that there was no logical explanation for how a 190-centimeter tall almost-man could be considered endearing.

“Shin-chan? You okay? You’re spacing out.”

Midorima blinked, and shook his head lightly to clear his mind. “Yes, I’m fine.”

Takao smiled smugly. “You know, Kuroko gave me Kagami’s number a while back, in case there was an emergency. I can hand it over to you.”

“And why would I want you to do that?”

“Because you’re a tsundere and won’t admit that you think he’s kinda cute.” Takao’s smile turned softer, then. “Shin-chan, we’re friends. At least let me do this for you.”

Midorima paused for several moments, until finally sighing and retrieving his phone out of his bag to hand over to Takao.

“He’ll never have time to talk. They’re starting practice soon. And he’ll be suspicious of my motives if I text him out of the blue.”

“Don’t worry Shin-chan, I’ve got you covered.”

Midorima didn’t know what he expected when he saw the mischievous glint in Takao’s eyes.

\---

-are you google? because you have everything im searching for.   
(5:02)

-Who is this???  
(5:09)

-This is Midorima. Takao hijacked my phone and sent that text to you.  
(5:10)

-Oh, that’s weird  
(5:10)

-I regret letting him give me your number already.  
(5:11)

-Why did you want my number in the first place???  
(5:12)

-?????  
(5:54)

\---

Needless to say, the Shuutoku vs Seirin practice match was an experience.

Warming up didn’t take too much time, at least until Seirin actually arrived at the gym, at which point Takao sauntered off to talk to Kuroko, wearing an excited expression. Midorima couldn’t hear what they were saying, but Kuroko seemed pleased to be talking to Takao, so he supposed it wasn’t too much of a hindrance.

“It’s a little sappy, don’t you think?”

Midorima startled, too caught up in watching the exchange to have noticed that Kagami had approached him. He adjusted his glasses.

“Yes, I suppose it is. Though I must admit, it’s refreshing to see Takao being social outside of the team.”

“Aw, you really are a good friend to him, even if you are prickly around the edges!” Kagami said cheerfully, swatting Midorima on the back.

Midorima wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask-”

“If this is about your phone number, I’d prefer not to talk about it.”

Kagami stared at him blankly. “You know, I get that Takao was joking. You don’t need to worry about it, I figured you wouldn’t want to seriously flirt with me anyway.”

Midorima was about to let his shoulders slump now that the metaphorical weight was lifted off of them, but one look at Kagami had them tensing back up again.

Kagami was blushing.

Before Midorima could stop himself, he blurted, “Did you want me to?”

Kagami stared at him, wide-eyed, and was about to speak when-

“Shin-chan, we’re ready to start! Hurry up!”

Midorima cleared his throat and did exactly that.

\---

-Is there a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself in them  
(6:17)

-That was one of the most tactless pickup lines I’ve ever heard of.  
(6:18)

-But did it work?  
(6:18)

-...Perhaps.  
(6:21)

**Author's Note:**

> You can message me on tumblr (or just say "what the hell") at doomedtemperament.tumblr.com


End file.
